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Here I Am

2024

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As a little child, I spent a lot of time staring at my mum's bed while she rested after work.

 

 

I would stand behind the door, hoping she would see me and call me over.

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Sometimes, I would jump into her bed and gently touch her eyes.

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Mum didn't like it; she wanted me to leave her alone. She would turn away and make a weird sound with her mouth to express her disappointment.

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Being rejected made me feel unworthy. The pain of rejection still haunts me today. It is as sharp as a knife; I can almost hear its sound. It reminds me of my mum pushing me away. It burns in my stomach like hot candles.

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Here I am, finally visible. Here I am.

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